You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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