Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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