I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
