Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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