Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
