Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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