haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
