'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
