I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize