it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
