She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
