its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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