I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize