Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I puked a lego.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
