I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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