Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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