Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
