Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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