did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
