i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
