If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
