I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize