But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
