She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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