we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
