I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
