you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
