Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
