They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
