That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize