Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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