Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
