she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
