Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
