Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
