4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
