Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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