some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
