Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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