I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
