Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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