And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she smelled like a LAN party
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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