Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
