I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
