I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
