she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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