Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
