I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
