the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
