you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
