absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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