therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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