I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
