dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize