k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
