u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
