We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
