don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
