you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
