is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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