Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
