Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
