and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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